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Campus Vibes


You just arrived at the only university on the Equator and you have no idea whatsoever of how to go about your campus life. You may want to argue that you do but trust me you don’t because in just a month you’ll realize that all that you have ever been told about campus is but a lie except for the fact that people to get donations from the govt that are called HELB. So let me take you through a few steps to help you get started on your life here at MSU.

Get a boyfriend/ girlfriend

Good bye to the days of ‘what if mum akijua’. She won’t know and neither will anyone else from your village apart from your long deceased ancestors whose spirits will be haunting you every now and then as you contemplate that phone to your mum eventually after you get pregnant or if your play it well and get someone pregnant.

Skip lectures

I should let you know that here we don’t have classes, it’s strictly varsity lingua and a mandatory obligation for anyone whose passes the baptism of fire which is to sit your KCSE exam to refer to the periods of academic knowledge dispensation as lectures and not classes. I hope tumeskizana my fren! So ensure that you skip as many as possible, don’t worry about the knowledge, you’ll cram all of it a day before end sem exams.

Copy everything
There’s no need of troubling your mind with an assignment or exam yet the real need here is to have all answers uniform (the examiners know this to be true). So please invest a considerable amount of time in copy and pasting mechanics that ensure you become the best scribe of your class which in essence is the only sure way of you graduating with any distinction. Invest sometime also in good relationship with your ancestors so that their protection be upon you lest you land in the presence of the varsity’s Sanhedrin which we call the Disciplinary Committee.

Drink as much as is available
Whenever you happen to be in the presence of liquor which will be a s frequent as you can possibly imagine, ensure that you drink the whole thing that you are served with and if you can’t take down the contents of a whole bottle then at the least ensure that you minimize the volume of the contents to the maxima. It is a pity if you happen to be nursing headaches because of the sun yet others are nursing headaches due to hangover, set your priorities right and make sure your are not left out.

Squander your money
My final tip for you is that you squander your money very well. Mark you I said very well. You have no reason whatsoever to be monitoring the expenditure of your money, io wachia watu wa Economics. As an honorable comrade in Maseno it is necessary that you squander all your money while you can and join the club of petty brokenness as soon as possible. This will help you to make a lot of friends and also help you live the best lifestyle possible.

Gisera Matanda





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