He then stopped suddenly when he saw me raising the bottle high above. He became frightened. He lifted up his hands and started moving backwards. His eyes changed from excitement to a look of innocence. I remained there, glued to the ground not knowing what to do next. My hands started shaking. They were still high above, firmly holding the bottle.
“Janet please. Please Janet!” Dan whispered as he moved backwards. “Usiniue kwanza. I know I deserve to die. But please let me help Jose first then let you kill me.”
His tone had changed. He sounded more innocent than ever before. He started crying. His hands still raised above in a surrendering manner. I also started crying. I did not view him as Dan. He was an enemy and I had lost all trust in him. I was to hit him anyway. “Dan hakuna. Jose amekufa. Unataka tu kunidanganya ndo nisikugonge.” I shouted at him as I moved toward him.
“Haiya! Wait kiasi” Dan said as he lowered his right hand. The left hand remained raised in the air. He looked at me keenly.
“Unatry kudo nini Dan? What do you want to do?” As I asked as moved quickly towards him. I was observing his right hand. Perhaps he wanted to draw a weapon. I was also terrified but I did not want to show him that I was somehow afraid of him. “Try do something stupid and you will regret it. I swear!”
“It is ok Janet.” He said lifting up his right hand. “I have no intension to hurt you. If I had, I would have done it before. Jose hajadie. Let us save him kwanza.” He said in a low tone.
“Acha kujifanya kondoo yet wewe ni mbwa mwitu. Sahizi ndo unajifanya kujua Jose deserves to leave?” I asked him in a furious tone. “Dan you and your gang are animals. Hata siamini that this is really happening. I just hope it is a dream.” I added.
Dan looked at me then looked at Jose. He shook his head sadly. He looked at me again, bent his head sideway then said “Janet, we have to do something. La sivyo, we are going to lose him.” he kept his eyes fixed on me, certainly, to measure my reaction. “Do you really know what losing Jose mean?” he asked.
“Ungejiuliza kabla uingie kwa hii deal” I answered him rudly.
“Si kwangu. Kwako wewe. Jose akifa you will go through a lot.”
“Ni sawa. Mshamuua tayari doggy nyinyi?” I shouted at him. I looked at Jose, he was still motionless. I pitied him. He was paying for the sins he did not commit. Pain was still haunting me. I felt extremely cold. At the same time, I was sweating. My heart was beating at a fast rate as tears kept flowing. May eyes had swollen. I even thought I would die of crying. I had cried for ours since the whole event begun.
“Acha kuniblame kwanza!” Dan shouted at me. “Let us save this poor guy. Hutaelewa.” He seemed angry. He looked at me as though he was planning an attack on me. His face had frowned. He was indeed sad. “Listen Janet,” He lowered his tone. “Najua nafaa kufa. But sitaki kufa na blood of an innocent soul on me. Huwezi elewa why I did that. Please, let me save Jose then nipige magoti unipige nife. Am ready to die. I know I deserve to. But pliz, I beg you. Let me save Jose.”
“No! Dan you are lying to me. You want to frame me more!” I cried.
“Janet, if I say you want Jose to die will I be lying?” He said while making some steps towards me. “You don’t love Jose. Right? I can tell it from the way you are resisting”
Dan’s words tormented me. I felt fire burn inside my heart. I forgot where I was. I went in another world. A world of sorrow, pain, regret, hatred and agony. I felt as though I was numb. My eyes become dim. I was not thinking anymore. All I was hearing was the echo of Dan’s voice. ‘Janet, if I say you want Jose to die will I be lying? You don’t love Jose. Right? I can tell it from the way you are resisting.’ The voice kept on repeating. I felt like a mad person. I imagined that I was strangling Jose. I saw Jose dying in my hands. Jose the one I loved. I heard his voice beg me to let him go. But I was still strangling him. He tried to push me but I was strong.. I was strangling him. Foam was foaming around his mouth. His eyes were turning white. He was becoming weak. I was killing him. Killing the one I love. “NOOO!!” I shouted on top of my voice. “I love him. I love Jose, I can’t kill him. Not me. Siweziii. Nampenda. Dan nampenda Jose!”
I was shouting like a mad woman. I was shaking more vigorously. The next think I head was the breaking of the bottle. It had fallen from my hands. The pieces of glass spread all over the rom. I quickly ran towards the wall. I started knocking the wall. I knocked it with my blow, my forehead. I was not in my senses. Killing Jose was something that had never crossed my mind. Not even once. We had argued with Jose before, not even once, but I had never even thought of harming him. I loved him. He was nice, not only to me but to all. He was generous despite of the fact that he was poor. I loved him. He was more than a lover to me. He was like a parent to me. I loved his politeness, he never raised his voice unless someone crossed my lines. Jose was like a god to me. “I love Jose. I love Jose!” I shouted as I knocked the door.
“Janet! Janet! Wewe Janet!” I heard a voice calling me. It was like a reverb voice. I thought I had fallen in a deep pit. Suddenly, I heard someone shaking me from behind. The hands were on my shoulders. I was being shaked vigorously. “Janet!” The voice was now louder.
Suddenly, my senses resumed. I turned at a speed of lightning. My eyes met with Dan’s eyes. “Janet relax. Najua unapenda Jose. Nishamdunga sixty units of insulin and atakuwa poa soon.” Dan told me. He was holding my shoulders. I did not say a word. I was confused. I did not know what I was actually thinking. “You can now go ahead and kill me Janet. That is what I deserve.” Dan said while crying. “I am an animal. You were right when..” he kept quiet suddenly then looked at me. His face changed. “Janet, are you ok?” he asked me looking very surprised. I only nodded my head. Dan stretched his hand and touched my nose, he then showed me his fingers. They were red with blood. I bent down and all I could see was blood dripping from my nose. I was nose bleeding. Perhaps I had injured myself when I was knocking my forehead on the wall. I tried to fold my fingers, they were also painful.
“Am sorry,” Dan told me. He dipped his hand in the pocket and removed a handkerchief. He went to the other side of the room and dipped it in the water. He then gave me to place it on my forehead. He pulled my hand and led to his bed. As I sat on the bed, my eyes landed on Jose. Beside him, was a bottle of insulin and a syringe. I almost jumped up in happiness when I saw him move his hand. I tried to shot up but Dan pulled me back. “You are bleeding. You also need to rest a bit. Jose will be ok.” He said while smiling.
For the first time after many hours of sorrow, I afforded a smile. “Thank you Dan.” I forced myself to thank him. “Nilikuwa nafikiria Jose amedie. Look!” I shouted as I pointed at Jose, he is trying to move his head!” I was excited. I almost hugged Dan when I remembered that it was still his fault. He was just trying to clean up his mess. “Itatake how long ndo Jose awe normal?” I asked him. He was sitting beside me on his bed.
“Not long. I pray arudi normal haraka before Frank waingie hapa. Najua ananitafuta kwa simu na next destination itakuwa hapa. Nimezima simu yangu.” Dan told me.
“Nilimpiga ndo nikahepa!” I told him simply. My eyes were still on my love on the floor. I was monitoring he progress closely. He still looked as handsome as I saw him for the first time. Despite of the condition.
“Niliona ukimpiga.” Dan answered.
“Uliona!!?” I was surprised. I turned and looked at him. He did not looke at me. “How?” I asked.
“Nilikuwa somewhere close. Believe me, ningeingilia ka angeanza kukuhurt” he told me.
“Umusave kunudunga kisu au? You mean ungoje hadi kisu kingie kwa tumbo yangu ndo unisave?” I asked sacarstically.
“Zii” Frank hangekudunga. Hata Mike hange allow?” He answered.
“Mike ndo who?” I asked him though he seemed not interested with my questions.
“Yule boy alikuwa akichunga mlango. Ni second year. But si wa hii campus. Frank hired them. Pamoja na yule boy alipick Clara. So humjui. “ Dan answered. He was rubbing his hands. His mind was far. I could tell from how he was talking.
“Na basi mbona hukuja kusave Jose. Ukaamua kuwatch cinema nikipitishiwa hell!” I asked sacarstically.
“Janet, ulikuwa in a bigger danger than Jose. Frank anatumia drugs and zinaezamdanganya afanye anything. He is under drugs and stress. For a long time,” Dan answered my question while looking at me. “Hiyo ball ya Clara imechizisha Frank. Nimeamini leo!” he said in a low tone. Silent prevailed for about minute, Dan kept on rubbing his hands together while biting his lower lip.
“I thought umesema hangenihurt? Anyway, Na mbona Dan ukakubali ku betray your roommate. Do u think Jose will ever trust you?” I suddenly broke the silence.
“Janet,” Dan started. “kuna time nilikuwa nimesota and I desperately needed money. So niliendea Frank nikamshoo anikopeshe pesa. When I approached him, he told me that hakopeshi doo but ana job. At first I refused but akatumia Kate. Hiyo day Kate alicome akadoz kwangu then after having our nice moments ndo pia yeye akanichapia hiyo deal. I love Kate though sijui if she really loves me. So sikuwa na otherwise than to join them. I did it for two reasons, kupata doo na coz of love I have for kate.” As Dan spoke, tears was rolling from his eyes and dripping on the floor. He kept clicking. “Jose ni innocent kabisaa.” He added. “Hope atanisamehe na kunitrust tena” he stretched his left hand and held my right hand. He then turned and looked at me, I turned and looked at him too. Our eyes met. He lifted my hand and kissed it. “Am sorry Janet!” He whispered.
“It is ok!” I whispered back then pulled my hand from his. I turned and looked at Jose. “Dan. Look!” I shouted at Dan while pointing at Jose. Jose was struggling to wake up. “Acha tumsaidie” I said while pulling Dan. I was already standing. I dropped the wet handkerchief, not caring whether I had stopped nose bleeding or not. Dan responded quickly and we rushed towards Jose. He was really trying to stand up. His eyes were still closed though. “Mshikie hapo kwa mabega tumpeleke kwa bed.” I shouted in excitement.
Dan bent and held Jose by the right shoulder. I held him by the left one and we started struggling to lift him. Suddenly, behind us, the door flew open. My heart skipped a bit. I felt hot saliva in my mouth as chill ran down my spine. We quickly returned Jose to the floor. Dan looked at me. Our eyes met. We looked at each other as though asking ‘umesikia hiyo?’ He also looked terrified. We heard some footsteps approaching us from behind. Before were could turn and look at the door, the lights went off.